Irish politician Seamus O’Flaherty was recently found dead in his home, mysteriously just days after authorising and carrying out the removal of a sacred fairy tree in Co. Offaly.
Seamus O’Flaherty, a County Offaly politician, was found dead in his home in the early hours of Monday morning.
His sudden death comes just days after the politician spoke publicly about cutting down one of Ireland’s oldest fairy trees because it sat partly on the location of a proposed new motorway.
Even after his inbox was filled with emails with the subject line reading “Don’t f*ck with fairies”, the Irish politician gave the go-ahead, and the thousands of years old tree was removed without ceremony on Saturday, 18 November 2023.
Just two days later, on Monday, 20 November, O’Flaherty was found dead in his home.
Irish politician who authorised removal of fairy tree found dead – the circumstances have been deemed “suspicious”
Seamus O’Flaherty was found dead in his home in the early hours of Monday morning in what the coroner is calling “suspicious circumstances”.
O’Flaherty’s late wife told us that he had no pertinent medical issues. In fact, he had just begun training for his first-ever disc golf championships.
His body was discovered on Monday morning by his cleaner. Preferring to remain anonymous, she told us, “I warned him not to mess with that old fairy tree, and now the old f*cker is dead”.
We were at first puzzled by his cleaner’s words, but they are words that seem to ring true with many in the public.
We decided to do a quick Google search of the dead politician’s name, and the results were quite frankly shocking.
Public response – not in his favour
Twitter user Luckyfairy93 tweeted, “That old tw*t got exactly what he deserved. You NEVER f*ck with fairy trees”.
Another read, “What did he think was going to happen? What a feckin eejit”.
When O’Flaherty had originally announced plans to tear down the old Irish fairy tree, public outcry seemed to have fallen on deaf ears. O’Flaherty ignored protests and warnings of the wrath of fairies.
He even posted a photo to his own Twitter account on the day of the demolition, holding a branch in one hand and a pint of Guinness in the other.
His body was discovered with no visible marks of distress. No blood, no bullet holes, no bruising. However, the coroner did mention a microscopic hole in his neck, no bigger than a freckle, that he otherwise wouldn’t have noticed if he hadn’t been using a microscope.
The police also noted that O’Flaherty’s house did not appear to be broken into but that the kitchen window was ever so slightly ajar.
Fairies in Ireland – sacred beyond belief
Indeed, it is a well-known fact that fairy trees and forts are sacred here on Irish soil. They are sacred meeting places for fairies, and cutting them down or mishandling them in any way is a dangerous and sinful act, according to legend.
These trees and the fairies who reside and meet in them are said to have strong powers, much stronger than the forces of humankind.
Fairies are a combined force of good and evil, so while they can bring you luck and good fortune, they can also be the source of your demise or downfall.
As such, cutting down a fairy tree is said to bring terrible bad luck, and this is one superstition that Irish people have continued to abide by for centuries.
Irish folks might remember the famous motorway story from 1999, in which the building of a County Clare motorway was postponed due to superstitions over a fairy tree.
When folklorist and storyteller Eddie Lenihan heard of plans of a new motorway running through Latoon, County Clare, he warned of the consequences removing it would bring.
He said, “I told them not to move the bush, and there would be serious consequences if they did. People would be killed on the motorway”.
This story made headlines all over the world, and in the end, the bush was saved. “Never shift a fairy bush,” Lenihan said. “It belongs where it is and nowhere else”.
O’Flaherty’s family are demanding that his killer be brought to justice. Our only worry is that the guards won’t have handcuffs small enough…
Disclaimer
This article is satire. Articles in this section are spoof articles which should not be taken as the truth, nor are they are intended to offend. However, if you are offended, please inform us formally via a letter. You can ensure it gets to us by placing it in the nearest recycling bin.