Gardaí witnessed the heinous scene in the house after suspect allegedly left his mother’s immersion on for over two days.
There is a nationwide manhunt underway for a 17 year-old boy who allegedly left his mother’s immersion on for the entire course of the past weekend.
Gardaí are responding to the event after receiving complaints from Mrs Agnes Downes of Summerdale Drive, Corbally, Limerick. She alleges that her son, Timmy Downes, left the immersion on “for the whole shagging weekend.”
Manhunt underway – all resources mobilised
Army units from the Southern Command are also conducting a search of scrub and woodland in the county. The Garda press office has confirmed that the Garda helicopter has been deployed to assist in the search.
Speaking to reporters gathered at Limerick’s Henry Street, Garda Station Chief Superintendent James Slattery said: “This is an open and shut case of a young fella completely ignoring what his mammy told him to do.
“It’s probably the most vicious case of a young-fella disrespecting his mammy I’ve seen in me 20 years on the force.
“We’re advising the public if they do come across young Timmy not to approach him but to dial 999 straight away and let us the guards deal with the little fecker.”
Gardaí lead manhunt – an overreaction?
Some members of the press asked the Chief Super if he thought that perhaps the Gardai were slightly overreacting. “Ah Jaysus, no,” the senior policeman said. “Timmy’s mammy plays bingo with my mammy and they’re the very best of friends.”
“Anyway, his mammy told my mammy that Timmy was a right cheeky little bas***d altogether, never does what he’s told.
“And when your mammy tells you to do something like turning off the immersion — well you do it or face the consequences.”
The sanctity of a mother’s immersion – what’s next?
“If a young-fella gets away with that sort of behaviour God knows where it could end. Next thing you know he’ll be joining ISIS or some other one of them crowds.
“That sort of ignoring the thing can lead to a complete disregard for law and order. Imagine disregarding his own mother’s immersion and its needs. Next thing you know he’ll be on crack-cocaine and running drugs.”
Details of Timmy’s disappearance – a mother wronged by her own
Detective Inspector Tom McMahon, who is leading the hunt, divulged the details. It appears that Timmy was spending the weekend at his cousin’s, who had arranged for a few girls to come over. Timmy fancied one of them and decided to have a shower before his mother dropped him off.
“Did you turn off the immersion Timmy?” Mrs Downes asked her son for the 15th time during the ten-minute drive. To which Timmy replied, “I did, mammy”, also for the 15th time.
However, it emerged that Timmy’s mind was only on the prospect of scoring with one of the girls and to be honest he, as usual, wasn’t listening to a word his mammy said.
These were the tragic circumstances that allowed for his mother’s immersion to be left on all weekend.
Still no sign of Timmy – Garda patrols exhausted
“You can imagine the mammy’s shock, horror and anger when two days later she went to get a pillow slip from the hot press and noticed that the little red light was still on,” the Inspector said.
“It appears that Timmy’s mammy lost the plot altogether and went after Timmy with a rolling pin.”
Meanwhile in Ireland can report that as yet, despite an extensive search of counties Limerick, Clare and Tipperary, there is still no sign of Timmy. More when we have it.
Disclaimer
This article is satire. We do satire articles because it is great craic and Irish people love it! Articles in this section are spoof articles which should not be taken as the truth, nor are they are intended to offend.
