With Father’s Day right around the corner, let’s take a look at the top ten most classic Irish dad jokes we’ve all heard before.
Ah, Irish dads. They truly are a breed of their own. You can spot an Irish dad from a mile off, from the cringeworthy jokes to the way they dress; they stick out like sore thumbs in so many ways.
We’re going to take a look at the ten most classic Irish dad jokes of all time, and we can guarantee you’ve heard most of them before.
- With Father’s Day right around the corner, let’s take a look at the top ten most classic Irish dad jokes we’ve all heard before.
- 10. Saying “I hated that” after a meal – if your da hasn’t said this, is he really your da?
- 9. “What seems to be the officer, problem?” – they think they’re so funny
- 8. “I was just resting my eyes” – the biggest lie
- 7. “Who stole the rest of your jeans?” – a classic
- 6. “You’ve a face only a mother could love.” – dads don’t hold back
- 5. “I’d love to go to Holland someday to try on some clogs, wooden shoe?” – punbelievable
- 4. The St. Patrick’s Day joke – a great one for Paddy’s Day
- 3. “She gets her good looks from me.” – every time you bump into a friend or relative
10. Saying “I hated that” after a meal – if your da hasn’t said this, is he really your da?
You’re out for dinner with your da. He has absolutely annihilated his food. Not a morsel is left on the plate. He might as well have licked it clean.
However, when the waiter comes over to lift everything and says, “Was everything ok for yous?”, your dad looks between his empty plate and the waiter and says, “Oh, I hated it”, all while stifling a chuckle. If you utter these words, it’s a clear-cut sign you’re turning into an Irish dad.
9. “What seems to be the officer, problem?” – they think they’re so funny
A line stolen from South Park, “What seems to be the officer, problem?” or “Have we got an officer, problem?” is as classic an Irish dad joke as they come.
8. “I was just resting my eyes” – the biggest lie
This is one of the best Irish dad jokes because, even though it’s not intended to be a joke or even to be funny, we would bet good money that every Irish dad has uttered these words on more than one occasion.
Your dad might have fallen asleep in front of the sofa, and now the snore that’s coming out of him sounds like an angry bear having a fight with a lawnmower.
When you nudge him to wake him up, saying, “Dad, will ya wake up and stop snoring,” he says, “I was just resting my eyes”. Bonus points if you change the channel and he abruptly wakes up complaining, “I was watching that!”.
7. “Who stole the rest of your jeans?” – a classic
When ripped jeans were all the rage in the last few years, Irish dads all over the country could barely contain themselves when their kids, relatives, or random friends walked into the house wearing them.
The urge to ask, “Who stole the rest of your jeans?” or “Did you get those for half price?” or simply, “Where’s the rest of them?!” is just too much to contain.
6. “You’ve a face only a mother could love.” – dads don’t hold back
For the harsh dads out there, you might have heard this once or twice. Sometimes, dads don’t hold back when dishing it out to their kids. They love us really, though, right?
5. “I’d love to go to Holland someday to try on some clogs, wooden shoe?” – punbelievable
If there’s one kind of joke dads all over the world love, it’s puns, and this is the kind of joke that gets a bunch of dads laughing like no other.
4. The St. Patrick’s Day joke – a great one for Paddy’s Day
The Irish dad St. Patrick’s Day joke goes like this:
“People often wonder why St. Patrick drove all the snakes out of Ireland…It’s because it was too far to walk”. Ba-dum-tss.
3. “She gets her good looks from me.” – every time you bump into a friend or relative
If you’re out shopping, at a restaurant, or anywhere with your dad, and you bump into people you know, there’s a high chance your dad will attribute your looks or intellect to himself.
However, when you do something that he doesn’t like, he’ll say, “She must get that from her mother”, or “He doesn’t get that from me”.
2. The priest and the Guards – one we all heard when we were young
A priest is driving home when he gets pulled over by the Guards. The Guard notices the smell of alcohol off the priest’s breath and an empty wine bottle on the car floor.
The Guard says to the priest, “What’s that you have in there” and the priest says, “That’s just water!”, so the Guard says, “Ok, hand it to me”.
When he sniffs the bottle, he says, “Sir, this is wine”, and the priest says, “Oh GOD, you’re at it again!”.
1. “He’s as thick as two short planks.” – he’s an eejit, basically
When your dad’s referring to someone who is a bit stupid, we bet you’ve heard them refer to them as “As thick as two short planks”.
When they say this phrase, they can’t help but smirk because they just think they’re so funny.
So, there you have it. The top ten most classic Irish dad jokes. Which one is your favourite, and did we miss any?
MORE LAUGHS: Our top 5 Paddy Irishman jokes, or the top 10 most hilarious Irish dirty jokes (laughter guaranteed)
