eFlow announces RECORD PROFITS of €17B after busy year for M50

The bane of every Irish driver, eFlow has announced record profits of €17B after a very busy year for the M50.

The M50 toll has caused public outrage since it was installed, an installation that took four years at a cost of €950 million.

There have been calls to scrap the toll for years, as public records show that the price of the toll has been more than paid off over the years, with more than €300 million collected in toll charges on Irish roads in 2022, half of which was collected on the M50 alone.

Well, if we thought public outrage hit a climax with these figures, eFlow recently announced record profits of €17 billion in 2023, the busiest year for the M50 to date.

eFlow announces record profits of €17B after busy year for M50 – to the shock and horror of the Irish public

Locals were horrified to learn recently that eFlow, the toll operator of the barrier-free tolling system on Dublin’s M50 motorway, announced record profits of €17 billion in 2023 after a busy year for the motorway.

One Dublin local who uses the M50 every day, twice a day, for her commute to work said, “I can’t believe these feckers are still taking our money. The toll is paid for. Scrap the fees and be done with it”.

Conversely, a spokesperson for Pierse Fitzgibbon Solicitors, the enforcement service provider for the eFlow toll system on the M50, said, “We are delighted to announce record profits for eFlow in 2023 after one hell of a busy year for the M50.

“The Christmas do this year is gonna be nuts. We’ve literally spared no expense. We’ve ordered 14 ice sculptures, a bottomless caviar buffet, as well as a bottle of Dom Perignon for even the people who clean the toilets at the eFlow headquarters”.

The M50 nightmare – horror stories of dodged payments

The M50 toll is one people dread to forget paying, as the consequences of relentless penalties is a wrath NO ONE wants to face.

As the busiest motorway in Ireland, it comes as no surprise that from time to time, people forget to pay their toll. However, some people intentionally try to dodge paying it, leaving them in hot water.

Daniel McGinty, a Drogheda native, told us, “I tried to dodge the M50 toll by moving to Cork. I thought it was far south enough that they wouldn’t come after me.

“But it was no use. The penalty letters followed me everywhere like a curse in one of them horror films you see in the pictures.

“I ignored the penalties for four years, changed my name, moved house seven times, and moved to six different counties. In the end, the bailiff showed up at me house and took everything off me, everything”.

Damien’s story isn’t a rare one, as the Irish have been haunted by shocking M50 toll penalty stories since its inception. If you thought they were old wives’ tales to ward you off dodging your fines, think again! They are absolutely real.

Plans for further expansion – more tolls and higher fees

As 2023 has proven so profitable for eFlow, they have decided to implement more tolls across the country – and not just on major motorways.

Yes, they have revealed plans to put tolls on even the shortest motorway in Ireland – the M3 in Belfast, which runs just 1.6 km (0.8 miles) long.

One Belfast local who learned of these plans said, “If eFlow tries to make its way up north, there will be someone waitin’ at the border to knock their ball*x in before they even make it past Dundalk”.

Furthermore, it has been revealed that the price of the M50 toll will increase by €1 come 1 January, just to add insult to injury.

eFlow has even been in talks to implement walking tolls. For example, a €2 fee every time you want to walk over the Ha’Penny Bridge or walk through the threshold of Temple Bar.

As Dubliners begrudgingly continue to dig deeper into their pockets, it remains to be seen how much longer the M50 toll booths will be the reigning terror over Dublin’s motorways.

In the meantime, eFlow’s profits continue to soar, and the M50 remains the unlikely jewel in the crown of Ireland’s toll collection empire.